How Chronic Pain Can Change A Marriage

The sad truth about chronic pain is that it can negatively change any marriage. “About 50 percent of people who have chronic pain also have depression,” according to Robert D. Kerns, Ph.D. And depression can destroy a relationship. It can also turn a happy person into an irritable one. If your partner is suffering from chronic pain, then it is expected that he will become difficult to deal with. You will be surprised at how mean he can get because of his sickness.

In this article, we are going to look closely at how it can completely change a marriage.




What Is Happening?

The first thing that you have to understand at this point is the fact that your partner has his own challenges and struggles because of chronic pain. Because of the constant suffering that he has on a daily basis, there is a high tendency that he becomes difficult to handle. There will be a lot of mood swings, as well as endless disagreements or conflicts. Remember that attitude problems depend on a lot of factors. The amount, source or intensity of pain can affect how the other person acts or talks.

“People might be unable to work or work the way they used to,” said Beverly Thorn, Ph.D. Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S. also said that those experiencing chronic pain and depression combined “might have financial problems, and a new role in their family. Patients have told Thorn that not being the main provider has made them feel worthless or like they’re not contributing to their family unit.” This is a very sensitive subject.

How Long Will It Last? 

Several circumstances are taken into consideration when it comes to identifying how long a person will suffer from chronic pain. This is the primary reason why you must have a pain doctor who will look into the medical condition of your partner. Do not hesitate to ask the health practitioner about the status of your husband’s health.




Take note that chronic pain may last for a month or even a year, depending on the present factors surrounding a particular case.


What Can You Do?

What your beloved husband is going through right now is a painful experience. This is why he needs your support and love more than anything else in the world. He may act ungrateful or annoyed by your presence, but deep inside, he is thankful that he has you to care for him. Do not give up on making the other person feel how much you would love to stay by his side in this challenging moment. Here are some of the things that you could do:


  • Talk to him about anything. Give him a chance to share with you what it is like to have chronic pain.
  • Avoid showing your husband that you are having a hard time handling his medical condition. Otherwise, he will end up feeling embarrassed or sorry for himself for the inconvenience that he is causing.




  • Always use the right tone and words whenever you communicate with him.
  • Try to get some help from your friends or family members at times when you are physically and emotionally exhausted.


At times when you feel like running away or giving up, just remember all the good times you’ve had with your partner. Think of all the hundred reasons why you have decided to marry him in the first place. Most importantly, remind yourself that the situation is only temporary. He is acting weird towards you not because he wants to but because of the pain. He deserves nothing but your love and respect.