Why A Relationship Ends When One Has A Chronic Illness

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Have you ever heard of endless love? 

We do not mean the song that Lionel Richie and Diana Ross sang together way back in 1981. It’s the never-ending kind of affection that you can give to a person irrespective of their race, gender, or financial status. If you think about it, it’s almost like casting a binding magic spell on the people involved since you can’t seem to let go of each other no matter how many obstacles you come across. 

 

 

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But you’ll instantly know if you met a prince or a frog once you’re facing a chronic illness that, by the way, is also everlasting. The former will stay in the relationship, and you’ll be able to live happily ever after. The latter, however, can call it quits if any or all of the instances below appear. 

  1. Your Sexual Desire Decreases

Dealing with a returning disease can ultimately drain your energy. When the episode ends, you barely have the strength to focus on anything other than the essential tasks, such as cleaning the house, finishing your work, etc.  

While it’s great that you get to do your chores, it may leave you thinking less and less about sex. Considering your man cannot or refuses to understand that it’s your illness that causes that, he may choose to split with you.  

Here is what Nikki Martinez, Psy.D. has to say: “Each day you should tell each other one thing you appreciate about the other person.” This act can increase your affection for each other and can improve your sex life.

  1. Money Issues Come To Surface

The chronic disease makes it almost impossible for you to hold on to a stable job. In case you can’t start a business or find an employer who’ll understand your condition, you’ll have no choice but to depend on your boyfriend or spouse to pay for your expenses. 

The thing is, the guy may not whine when they only need to cover your phone, gas, and electric bills. But the idea of funding your medical costs forever might scare him away.  

  1. You Receive Judgments In Short Intervals

If your man loves you with all his heart and soul, you will always seem perfect in his eyes. Despite the years that you’ve known this dude for, he’ll never be too lax to say, “Why can’t you do this and that?” It will surely hurt you, and he’s aware of it. 

Hence, once criticisms begin to come from his direction, it entails that your relationship is bound to end. 

This is what Sharrie Thompson, nurse and Reiki master, has to say “With a willingness to patiently and compassionately discuss the tough issues, you should be able to survive a chronic illness diagnosis with an intact relationship.”

  1. You Feel Exhausted With Each Other

The disease, in all honesty, necessitates the guy to take care of you more often than the other way around. That is especially true when you have an active condition that prevents you from even getting out of your seat without wincing in pain. In case he’s fed up with the setup, and you’re tired of his grumbling, you’ll eventually fall apart. 

“If they are draining you, first look at you, then look at them,” says zen psychotherapist Michele Paiva. “This is very fixable. If it is you, pull back. If it is them, pull back. Your energy is yours, and can’t be given or stolen unless you hand over the power to someone else.”

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The reality of getting involved with a chronically ill individual romantically is not for the weak-hearted. The symptoms may flare up anytime; you won’t be able to function like other women. If your partner cannot handle the circumstance and gives you more trouble than relief, then the termination of your relationship may be for the best.

Don’t worry about the heartache it will bring. You can find another man who can keep up with your condition and never complain about anything because his love is, well, endless. 

Categories: Understanding Pain